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Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor - Visitor Map
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05/08/2021 12:30 PM
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rant
Current mood:
 blank
When I was a teen I was hyper sexual and didn't care about myself so I was sexual online, and wanted to post lewd things. I don't mean I didn't care about myself because I did these things, I was just in a bad headspace.
Anyway, I'm an adult and I can speak for every other adult that isn't a pedophile. If you're under the age of 18, don't post anything sexual or lewd. I understand teenagers are horny and have sex. That's a given. I understand. But if you're under 18 you shouldn't be posting about it online. I personally will let it slide if you're at youngest 16, I just avert my eyes. You're still a kid though and unless you're in a safe, private place, shouldn't be outwardly talking about it where anyone online can see. I get that it's your own profile and you can post what you want, but some things should be thought about before posting. I don't expect half the teens that hear this to listen or even consider it bc when I was told this I didn't listen. Because I wasn't an adult and didn't understand why it made them uncomfortable. I'm an adult now though and I understand.
I don't think anyone will read this but I'm disableing commenents anyways, I don't want to argue with a teen about this lol
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05/07/2021 09:43 PM
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forgot yesterdayz
Current mood:
 tired
I didn't post my daily blog yesterday bc after work I hung out with some friends. Ironically, the same ones who haven't been inviting me to dnd. Maybe I'm just thinking about it all too much, idk. It's easy for me to get in the mindset of everyone actually hating me and just lying about it. I feel like that with everyone right now except for Bun. I just get in these moods. Another friend of mine, or someone who says we're friends, moved 4 hours away recently to live with her boyfriend. She said whenever she came back to visit she'd come see me, but she's here visiting now and didn't even text me. I shouldn't expect much from her though she's also the one who just randomly ghosts me for months on end, especially if she gets a new boyfriend. But it's fine, I'm vibing. Sad vibes, but still vibes. Other than that today wasn't too grand. I went to work in a good mood, but didn't leave in too good of one. People just bother me. I'm also having withdrawls from not being able to smoke or have caffiene. Headaches and irritability. I'll deal, I got a new pack of cigs yesterday. Just can't smoke them yet. I also saw my little brother tonight bc my dad took me home from work. He was excited to see me when I got in the car. I love seeing him, he's fun. He's only four but I hope he loves me and continues to.
Hm, nothing else interesting happened. I wanted to drink last night but I have to wait until my mouth is completely healed to consume alcohol. Too worried about dry socket or it not healing properly.
We're having a babyshower at work tomorrow for one of my managers. I got her some diapers and a little robe for her and a matching one for her baby. That's what she said she wanted, so hopefully she didn't get it for herself.
Once again I'm so glad no one subscribes to my blog, it's become my daily diary type thing. I had a physical journal but it's a lot of work to write in daily and I end up forgetting about it. It's easy here bc I'm on here anyways for the other aspects.
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05/06/2021 01:18 PM
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seepy
I was off work today also. I didn't do much of anything except play eso. I napped, and played spellbreak with my s/o for a bit. I planned to play Stardew with bun but we never got around to it. I really want my mouth to not be sore and just be healed already. I have a bunch of chips I wanna eat. There isn't much to say about today or how I've felt because I haven't really. I should probably lay down and sleep soon. I have to work tomorrow.
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05/04/2021 09:07 PM
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birbs freed
Current mood:
 drained
I was supposed to work today but I called out because of my tooth. I didn't expect it to make me feel weak and slightly feverish. But I guess it's expected, I did have a tooth yanked from my face and a bunch of numbing sh*t shot into my gum. Oh well, I'm not using gauze anymore and it doesn't really hurt, just feels odd. I've ate a lot of mac n cheese cups today because they're easy to chew. My dad brought me a lot of soup and easy things to eat. They're all small cans, so it takes more thank one to make me full, but it's fine. Anything to eat is good. I'm off tomorrow too and I think my partner is going to come see me since it's been awhile since we saw each other. Our schedules just clash now but that's also fine, we'll get through it.
Since I'm off tomorrow I let my birds out of their cage today. I like to do it when I'm off that day and the next so they can be free longer. I don't like keeping them cooped up in their cage. It's big, but I know they love being out and able to fly. I don't get their wings clipped either so they have full ability to fly where they please. They're still safe though.
I finished all of the WB's in Vvardenfell, and went to all the silt strider caravans for that achievement. Now the only one I need is the fishing one. Which shouldn't be too difficult, I just have to go around to different fishing holes and hope to get the rare fish. I've already gotten 4 of the ones I needed earlier, so I've got maybe 3 more. I should finish it tonight hopefully. Then I'll have totally completed the Vvardefell zone! I dunno where I'll go afterwards. I want to go to Black Marsh but I don't wanna go too soon, because then the armor I get will be lower level once I hit CP. I'll probably wait until I hit CP to go there since it's my favorite place. Maybe I'll go to Clockwork city since the Vvardenfell main quest leads into it. Idk, I'll figure it out when the time comes.
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05/03/2021 10:03 PM
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tooths gone
Current mood:
blank
Ugh I got my broken tooth pulled today. I went to the dentist hoping to save it, but there was no use. It's a baby tooth with no adult tooth underneath it. If I really wanted to save it I would've had to go to a specialist and get their opinion, but then again it would've just been an opinion and most likely not able to save it. Which really sucks. I'm super down about it. I'm 21 with a missing tooth. I'm going to get an implant whenever I can afford it. I guess that'll be okay. I could get a bridge across it but they'd have to shave down the two teeth beside it and idk I just don't want that.
Right now I'm just worried about getting dry socket. I know I probably won't, I'm just always worried about things going wrong. I'm eating soft foods and not drinking out of a straw. I still have some gauze in my mouth too, I'm not really sure when I won't need any in there. I guess until I run out. It's not bleeding much anymore, I'm just scared like I've said a billion times. I haven't had a tooth pulled since I was a teenager. Maybe even before then, I don't remember.
I kept the tooth though, I'm going to give it to Bun. They wanna make a friendship spell with it and some of their blood, so I'm pretty hype about that! Only good thing that came out of me losing my tooth. And I guess the fact that I won't be kept up until 4am in excruciating pain anymore. Even though it hasn't bothered me at all lately, I knew it would again eventually.
Still f***ing bummed out about it.
I played osu a little bit but other than that, I've just swapped back and forth between games today. I've just been down. Not really any motivation to do anything. I napped at some point. Maybe I'll be tired and sleep early tonight and I'll wake up feeling better tomorrow. I wonder when I'll be able to drink coffee again. My tooth is going to be sensitive to hot and cold things. No energy drinks either I assume. Wow, this is going to suck. A water only diet. Water is great but I love coffee and anything with energy in it.
I'm gonna stop going on about whatever I am and try to find something to do. Whether it be on my phone or computer. Hopefully I'll find something.
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05/02/2021 09:26 PM
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dentist tmr
I actually woke up earlier today like I try to do everyday. Work wasn't interesting except I finished reading that bl. It was only 7 chapters which really sucked, but it was cute nonetheless.
I have to wake up early in the morning for the dentist. My manager lent me enough money to pay for the appointment and last for food until I can get my card back, I hate having to rely on other people but there's nothing that can be done about it. I don't like owing people anything.
I have to sleep within the next hour and I already know I'm not going to be able to go to sleep. I'm also not really looking forward to being bitched at by the dentist about brushing my teeth properly. I try to as much as possile but sometimes it's f***ing hard to take basic care of yourself. I can't help that. I try, it's not like I purposefully go without caring for myself. I wish I could easily like normal people but it takes a lot out of me to even brush my hair somedays.
I'm starting to get more and more nostalgic also and I don't need to. It depresses me that I can't go back in time. I need to get it out of my head. My old friends aren't my friends anymore, they aren't going to be. I'm an adult now, I can't go back to my teenage years, I can't fix things that I messed up back then. Some I can, but most I can't. It honestly boils down to me being scared of growing older and the change that comes with it. Everyone around me gets older as well, and you know what getting older leads to.
I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm just going to f*** around until I have to lay down. Idk what I'm gonna do though.
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05/01/2021 10:26 PM
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forgot to put a sub the first time
Second try here. I forgot to put the subject the first time so it just disappeared.
I thought I worked at 3:30 today but I infact worked at 1:30. I woke up around 1 because I just didn't want to get out of bed. I had to rush to get ready but I managed.
I stayed after work with my coworker because they asked me to and they take me home sometimes. I don't mind doing it, I just chill out and read or play pokemon if I remember to bring my ds. Which today I didn't so I read tokyo ghoul and some other manga I forgot the name of. The computer at the end of the night wouldn't come on because the printer jammed so we ended up staying later and not being able to get food, but it's fine.
My card is also blocked. I got a fraudulent text saying google tried charging me money, I dind't realize what it was at the time so I said it wasn't me, which resulted in them locking my card. I tried calling and having it unblocked but they said they couldn't and I had to order a new card. Thankfully my routing number will be the same so I can still get my paycheck. I just can't spend any money until I get the new card. That impacts my dentists appointment on Monday though. My manager is lending me the money to pay for it, which I absolutley hate but she kept insisting. I've got a headache so I won't type out everything else but that's basically everything that happened today. Nothing super interesting except me getting pissed off. Oh, I was listening to music at work while sweeping and some lady got mad bc there was cussing in the song and a kid was nearby, she told me I need to turn it down. I just ignored her and kept walking? Not my issue,,
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04/30/2021 11:45 PM
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demon slayer movie ^
I went and watched the demon slayer movie with some friends after work today! I was kind of iffy on actually going because I didn't want to deal with two of the people who were going, but it was really fun experience nonetheless. The movie was great, I actually got close to shedding a tear. I hated the dubbed voice for Inosuke though, I really couldn've went without that. I'm not a fan of either subbed or dubbed more I will watch either but I just couldn't stand his voice in this.
I had an actual cigarette too, menthol at that.
I wore my techwear fit out too. I haven't had a chance to actually wear it out anywhere since I got it because I only ever really go to work.
I'm not sure if I want to lay down now or if I want to play a game, I'm kind of tired but I slept until noon today. I dunno I'll decided in a bit.
My cat wants my attention I should give it to her ~
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04/30/2021 01:11 PM
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^^
Current mood:
 thirsty
I spent time with my gma this morning while I made coffee. Sat with her and played pokemon red while we had some. I like getting up and sitting with her, I just don't do it as often as I should. I was doing it daily but I've kind of fell away from doing it especially with work and having to get my permit. I'm just making excuses at this point, I can do better. I'll do better.
Played eso with my partner some before I had to go into work. He hit level 50. I decided to make a new character specifically for crafting, one for running dungeons, and one for just questing. My dungeon runner is a healer because idk I just like being a healer most times. Quester is a dragonknight, and my crafter is a nightblade. Not that I'm gonna use my crafter for much other than dailies though. I'm installing some mods for Morrowind right now, I planned to play it some tonight but considering it's almost 1:30 and I have to work at 1 tomorrow I probably shouldn't.
I also bough Danganronpa on steam, it was on sale for $7. I may not have because I only had around $25, but it was on sale.. sales get me.
I was asked to come in an hour early but I just ignored the text, not that I had any issue with doing it I just didn't want to. When I got to work I found out it was because someone came in and said they couldn't work their entire shift. Doesn't really make sense. Their nerves were shot, they said. Which I totally get, but this particular person has been calling out at least once a week lately. We hired someone new and are looking to hire someone back, but we're waiting on them to put in their application again bc they're out of the system from being a seasonal worker.
Whatever, it's fine. My eyes hurt and I need to be sleepy. I don't think anything else interesting happened today. Not that any of this was interesting, I've just come to enjoy talking about my day to the void.
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04/28/2021 11:03 PM
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nightly thingz
Current mood:
 awake
I did pretty much nothing today except sit on here and eventually play eso. Well, I did get into cosplay. I downloaded photoshop to edit a picture of Rem behind me but I couldn't even get the software to open so I ended up downloading some app off of google play that worked better, without a free trial. The quality of the edits are absolute sh*t but that was kind of the point,, I wasn't aiming for them to look spectacular. They satisfied my needs.
I'm almost 40 in eso, once I hit 50 I'll be at CP levels. It's taking a lot out of me to not start another character. On the plus side I finished the main questline in Vvardenfell, so now I'm just going around completeing the world bosses and delves I haven't gotten around to. I'm also hunting for ancestral tombs to get rubbings from for some librarian. Once I finish collecting those a replica of red mountain will be finished which I think is pretty awesome.
I do have to work tomorrow which I am not looking forward to. My boss texted me while I was asleep this morning asking if I could come in but by the time I woke up he had texted back saying he had it coverd. Thankfully lmao. I don't hate working I just prefer being at home, I don't have to deal with people.
I want to go to that cookout this weekend because it's for my partners cousin and brothers birthdays, but I get off work at 5:30 and I don't think they want to wait that long to cook. Who knows though, they may. That'd be ideal.
Ahh, we'll see how everything turns out.
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