04/30/2024 10:07 PM  Mental Illness Current mood:  exhausted So i happen to be one of the many unfortunate humans to suffer with B.P.D. A breif synapsus of this disease is Borderline Personality Disorder, which is a mental illness that can make it hard for people to control their emotions. This can lead to increased impulsivity, which can affect a person's self-esteem and relationships. honestly this is a very poor discription of it lets try again, Behavioral: antisocial behavior, compulsive behavior, hostility, impulsivity, irritability, risk taking behaviors, self-destructive behavior, self-harm, social isolation, or lack of restraint Mood: anger, anxiety, general discontent, guilt, loneliness, mood swings, or sadness Psychological: depression, distorted self-image, grandiosity, or narcissism Also common: thoughts of suicide In short i am evidently TOXIC i need help ive been screaming for help for years but my husband makes my home life harder my mother my father both are working just to live to help take care of my kids and let me go into in patient housing so i vent on here i really wish i had more people like me to talk to or something. On the b.p.d note i shaved my head again and am going to dye it again because of the shifting self image issues going on another crash diet that i know is gonna end in me binge eating this visious cycle i live everyday out in the open yet no one notices.  1 Comments  Report Post

04/18/2024 08:47 PM  My f***ed up life Current mood:  aggravated I guess its my fault my marriage is falling apart. I didn't know i was marrying a bisexual man and needed to be ok with doing sexual things to him I wouldn't even do myself. I thought this man loved me but i didn't tell him what I meant by love. I want a man who truly loves me who picks up after himself to make my everyday load easier a man who can do his own laundry who doesn't prioritize sexual appetites and video games over bonding with me and our children a man who actually wants to be active in a marriage with their family who is proud of having a clean house someone who would never want another person or to share me just real true love from a man who is selfish who wants me all to himself mind body soul who would get physically sick from the thought of sleeping with anyone outside of our marriage i want an old fashion love that i am afraid does not exist 0 Comments  Report Post

04/14/2024 06:40 PM  Love Current mood:  ashamed Should love make you feel sick to your stomach? If someone loves you as they say they do would they continously do sh*t that hurts you? I feel that when you truly love someone a partner in you day to day life you would do whatever you could to take care of them and that includes their emotions and mental health. One of the things that is destroying me in my marriage is how i physically kill myself to keep our house clean while he sits on his game. Most people are going to read this and feel that i am being too tough on him but really think about this. I have physical health issues ALOT of them due to auto immune disease i truly shouldnt have to do as much as i do but my husband doesnt take pride in a clean home the way i do.. I grocery shop, budget the bills, cook,clean, take 4 kids to the park while he sleeps, clothes, and dishes for 4 kids and 2 adults. He makes me feel like i got with another child and that it would be easier without him here seriously. 0 Comments  Report Post

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