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09/28/2022 05:56 PM
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September 28th 2022
Current mood:
 artistic
Today went by rather quickly. At work, we put in another toilet and changed the florescent lights to LEDs. I packed my lunch, it was watermelon. Me and my coworkers have an inside joke of trying to find every word that rhymes with damnation. That's all that happened at work today. Once I got home, I cleaned my room. It was very messy, and my parents wouldn't let me go out until it was cleaned. It was mainly just laundry and diet coke cans. Now I'm trying to plan out my third stop-motion animation. I have already found the bible quote I want to use but don't know exactly how to animate it. I'm sure I'll figure it out. I'm excited for this weekend; it's supposed to rain due to hurricane Ian and my lover wants to know if I'll spend the weekend at his house. I really want to, but it depends on how my parents view me taking care of my responsibilities.
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09/27/2022 07:37 PM
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September 27th 2022
Current mood:
 angsty
Apologies for not updating yesterday, I was just so tired that I went to bed as soon as I got home. Yesterday was a long day; it felt like it should have been Thursday not Monday. At work, me and my two favorite coworkers spent the day doing easy and arbitrary tasks to hide from Theo. Afterwards, I went out to dinner with my lover and our friend, Aiden. Today was a long day. At work, we had to replace a toilet in one of our offices. Sounds simple, disconnect the toilet, put in the new one, and reconnect it. Of course, it couldn't be that simple. Taking out the toilet was the easy part. Putting in the new toilet was problematic. You see, the old toilet was custom fitted to the pipes as they were put in incorrectly. We didn't know this, as the pipes were last updated twenty years ago, and were surprised to find that the new toilet wasn't fitting. After five hours, and a soaked floor, we finally got it to fit. We worked through lunch a bit which worried me as all I had for breakfast was two slices of buttered toast. I wasn't excited for the meatloaf being served for lunch, but I was excited for the watermelon. Of course, once I got to the kitchen all the watermelon was gone. That was all that happened at work today. When I got home, I helped my father with dinner as my grandmother is becoming less mobile. We both worried that she might have had a stroke while we were gone but mother said that she was fine, just getting old. After dinner, I worked on my stop-motion. It didn't come out exactly how I wanted it but, until I buy an actual tripod, instead of using an empty pretzel box, I am proud of it. I'm looking for inspiration for my next video. Can't wait to plan it out! Below is a link to my new stop-motion video on YouTube:
Genesis 3:16-17
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09/25/2022 08:35 PM
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September 25th 2022
Current mood:
 aggravated
Yesterday was absolutely wonderful. My family, my lover, and I, went to a local renaissance fair in Furnace Town. I was a cherub, an angel. Picture of my costume is below:
 The dress reminds me of when I used to dance as a child. During the faire, me and my lover bought some lunch. They had the famous ren faire lunch, giant turkey leg. They were huge! I don't know what they were feeding those turkeys but, Lord! They tasted delicious but were hard to chew and bite into. While walking around, I bought a pair of fancy scissors from a vendor. They're absolutely beautiful. A picture of them in their sheath is below:
 My father had many pictures taken of him as he went dressed as Gandalf from Lord of the Rings. One child called him Santa. After we left, we went back to our campsite. Camping had nothing very interesting. We made smores, played cards against humanity, and I started planning my next stop-motion. I also had a pregnancy scare as my lover finished in me. I immediately used the bathroom and wiped it all out as well as bought plan b. I'm on birth control already so I'm not really worried. We left this afternoon. Since I've been home, I've been making the scene for my stop-motion. I'm happy to say that I finished it, as well as gave Anastasia new legs for walking scenes. Below is a photo of my new scene:
 I'm not going to lie; I am not excited for work tomorrow. I'm beginning to hate my job. I wish I could just do what I love for a living, make stop-motions. Sadly though, the world of stop-motion animation isn't as vibrant anymore. It's almost completely owned by Tim Burton or Laika. I wish I could be paid for just simply creating. If anything, I'll just try applying at places as a secretary.
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09/23/2022 03:01 PM
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September 23rd 2022
Current mood:
artistic
I know that I said I wouldn't be able to blog today, but I called out of work, so I have time. My parents don't know that I called out, let's keep that between us. After I called out, I went to the doctor to get a note for work. Turns out, I have an infection. Anyways, I've been planning my next stop-motion short film. I have to make a new setting, but I'm planning on saving money and paper by using the back side of my old set. I don't plan on making a new doll. I really like my current doll and I will just make new paper clothes for her so that she isn't naked in every movie. There are still a few hours before I have to leave to go camping so I'm going to spend it planning out the film and building the set. I almost forgot! I stopped at Walmart today and had some pocket change, so I tried the claw machine. I won two times in a row! The first thing I won was a stuffed monkey; I'm not a huge fan of monkeys so I'll probably just customize him. The second win though, it was amazing! It was one of those baby stuffed animals with a clip to hang from their car seat but, I hung it from my rear-view mirror as it's a lamb and lambs are my favorite animals. I put a picture of it below! Tomorrow is the renaissance fair and I'm so excited! My whole family is dressing up, including my lover! That all depends on if he found a costume yet. My mother is dressing up as a witch, she's a practitioner of the craft. My father is dressing up as Gandalf from, "Lord of the Rings." My brother is dressing up as a Viking using a costume I handmade but was too small for me. My lover is dressing up as the little brother from, "Over the Garden Wall." I am dressing up as an angel. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures to upload on Sunday! Well, I don't have much time if I'm going to be starting on my next project, I'll be off for now.
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09/22/2022 06:24 PM
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September 22nd 2022
Current mood:
 ashamed
Nothing very interesting happened today. I woke up, went to work, then came home. I'm starting to fall into this routine of wake up, work, home, computer. Between these "phases" of my day I stuff my mouth full of whatever I can find and make myself erase my mistakes. I don't know what happened; I used to just not eat but, ever since I started eating more again I just can't stop. I'm addicted to making myself throw up, and I don't know how to stop it. I think I just need to start counting calories again. When I stopped counting calories I was scared of how much I was consuming so I made myself throw up. Now that that's out of the way, I completed my stop-motion film! It's a very short film, less than a minute long. It's kind of graphic, but it's all fake. I decided to make the video short as to try and tip my toes back into the stop-motion world. Below is a link to the video that I uploaded on youtube! If you have any questions about making animations please either comment or message me! https://youtu.be/ubpf8KzN7qs
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09/21/2022 08:13 PM
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September 21st 2022
Current mood:
artistic
Apologies for not writing yesterday, nothing eventful happened anyway. Today was a very busy day though. It feels like this week is going by so slow, probably because I'm excited for the weekend. This weekend I am going camping with my family and lover so tomorrow will be my last entry for a while.
This morning I woke up with a terrible stomachache. I felt that I was going to throw up. As the day went on it went away. Luckily, I didn't work with Theo today and worked with a different coworker instead. We waxed a new office floor and that was pretty much it.
When I got home, I immediately got to work on my stop-motion animation. I already had the images for the background printed so I just had to cut them out and glue them down the way I wanted. Afterwards, I planned out how I want the stop-motion to go with very crude drawings. Finally, I decided that the original paper doll wasn't good enough, so I made a new one.
Below are pictures of my progress!! After my chores tomorrow I plan on starting, if not finishing, the video! It's my first stop-motion since I was fourteen, so I planned out a pretty rudimentary one. Hopefully I'll have it filmed tomorrow and I can edit it on my phone over the weekend.
Old Doll and New Background:
Stop-motion plans (sneak peak):
New Doll:
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09/19/2022 07:43 PM
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September 19th 2022
Current mood:
artistic
The day went by fast. It feels like I blinked and all of a sudden, it was time to clock out. I spent my workday building desks for some new offices. After work, I stopped at Walmart to get some knitting supplies and stop to get some banking information I need to be put onto the direct deposit list. On the way home I stopped by Cold Stone and bought some ice cream. Once home I changed my clothes and walked the family dog. My lover wanted to go out for dinner, so I went with him. We had some fast-food Mexican at Moe's. After dinner, I went to Barnes & Nobles and ended up buying a mic set. Only to find out when I got home why it was on sale, the mic was missing. I've been wanting to make a cover of, "The Hearse Song" as it is the Halloween season and I really enjoy the song. On YouTube, I found an instrumental cover that I really like and luckily, the creator has given me permission to use it in my cover! Now that I know another musician will listen to it, I want it to sound professional, at least not like I made it on CapCut. I'm trying to find a way to use GarageBand to make the cover but I'm having trouble exporting and saving the instrumental audio. If anybody has any tips, please let me know!
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09/18/2022 09:53 PM
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September 18th 2022
Current mood:
 pure
Today was a calming day. I woke up around ten-thirty and ate some leftover pizza from last night. My aunt and uncle were here when I woke up to bring my mom her order. She likes to make her shipping address my aunt's business address because then she doesn't have to pay shipping tax. For some reason right now, I feel really itchy on my shoulders and it's bugging the hell out of me. Anyways, after they left, I had to clean my room before my mom let me go to my lover's house. He was disappointed in himself because last night he broke down and ended up punching his living room wall. I finished cleaning my room and headed to his house. I left at around noon, and I just got home an hour ago. We took a nap together, and I watched him play some Destiny before we bought dinner at Panera. After Panera we got some Cold Stone ice cream. I personally didn't understand the hype around them until I got a mixed order. My favorite mixed order is the "Cookie Doughn't You Want It." It's basically a cookie dough flavor with chunks of cookie dough and chocolate fudge syrup drizzled on top. Afterwards, we went back to his house, and I watched him play some more Destiny. I left earlier than usual since I wanted to pick up some stuff from Walmart. I bought materials to make Theo's temper tantrum chart, Christmas gifts for my cousin, some knitting materials, and watermelon for my lunch tomorrow. I like to Christmas shop through the year so that I'm not fighting everyone else during the Christmas season. I can't say that I'm excited for work tomorrow, but I'm not dreading it either. I am a bit excited to start packing my lunch instead of eating whatever the kitchen has to offer. Sometimes I don't like what they're making and end up buying out instead. I'm trying to save money so packing my lunch would be easier.
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09/17/2022 09:20 PM
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Purge My Love
Current mood:
ashamed
I wish I could stop myself.
I wish it never started.
I know you would be disappointed in me,
but the feeling of my fingers down my throat,
feel like your hands cupping my face.
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09/17/2022 09:05 PM
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Lessons
Current mood:
 anxious
I am taught from my families mistakes, every member has a lesson.
I am terrified of what I might teach.
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