11/13/2022 12:50 PM  being exhausted Current mood:  exhausted hello ppl, and here i am, once again exhausted asfffff. lately i must say a lot of things go the right way for me. i got the job i wanted, it looks like i can do the diploma i want, rn i live in a flat with the perfect location in the city and all that. but at the same time i be saaad, shawty. jkjk had to be said tho. but fr tho, my mind keeps f***ing me up over and over for no reason. i always keep getting into situations where i feel like i talk too much and after i jus wanna dissapear. like why cant i jus stfu. whats so hard abt that. also i feel a lot of sadness. i start getting overwhelmed a lot and i feel like im distancing myself from a lot- almost everyone. i want to text and talk back but i just cant. i dont have the nergy. i dont have the social battery. and it makes me so sad. i dont want other people to think i dont like them or sum. but also i cant tell them how i feel. and mainly i just dont understand why i feel like it. every mf thing is going my way, so why tf does my mind keep pulling me down. now this is just a whole complain. im srry for that, but it needed to be written down. im better now anf if your reading this,this is your sign to start writing sh*t down to feel better!  ok shawtys, see u next time 0 Comments  Report Post

03/26/2022 08:08 PM  war hello ppl! and here i am writing my second post. i hate it here. i hate this world. yesterday i grabbed sum coffee with my friends, and there was a whole group of cool looking ppl chillin in the front of the cafe. they were all talking in english and the barista later told us they are ukrainian. to me it made very much sense, because ive been seeing lots of new faces in the sh*t hole i live. when we left we greeded them and left.  at the moment it feels illegal to me to be exited or happy abt smth. when i see sum photos of nice places or houses in the world, im always like `ye, when i finally move out, imma go there` or `hell yeah, imma find a house like that for myself`. and the next moment i feel guilty.  0 Comments  Report Post

02/08/2022 09:11 PM  humans nutshell Current mood:  exhausted My "Bee-comparison" Hello people and welcome to my first post. ok. imma stop writing like a dictionary. if i make any mistakes- idc. right now i´m listening to king krule and i had the idea to write some thoughts down, that i be telling people in deep convos. just like my comparison i´d like to share now. idrk where to start so imma jus throw us all in the cold water. bees. everything they can think of is beehive -> flower -> enemies -> tasks.  what i want to point out is that they can think no futher than that. at that point they are restricted. their mind and intelligence is limited.  we as humans look down on bees and smile at them, because we know our horizon is bigger and further than theirs.  but what if we are the bees in this universe? what if there is something/someone/? thats laughing at us like we do at the bees? but we could never think of that, because our mind and our ability to think is limited. we cant think of such a thing. all we can think of is time, room, dimensions. we are not intelligent enough to recognize it. its not something like aliens, or in a different galaxy or universe. were not even able to imagine it and i think thats f***ing scary. and the more i think abt it the more i get terrified. i start to feel unsave and helpless. i feel like we dont have control abt sh*t.i sometimes feel unreal bc of thoughts like this.  but thats it for now. maybe imma start writing and posting more on here. thanks for reading  0 Comments  Report Post

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